A Moving Account of How One Mother Helped Her Adopted Son Accept His ‘Missing Piece’

the-missing-piece-opener

I have always wanted to adopt, even when I was a child with a penchant for writing poetry instead of going out for recess. She looked to the stars / And wondered / Someday / Will I find my mother?

“Who is the little girl in your poem?” asked Miss Loros as I hovered beside her desk, where she was focused on correcting a pile of math quizzes.

“She’s an orphan,” I said. “Someday, I want to be the mother of orphans.”

“Then you’d be dead,” she pointed out, not taking her eyes off her flow of check and X marks.

At the end of fourth grade, while my mother was drying a wooden salad bowl with a dish towel, I made an announcement.

“Mommy, when I grow up, I’m going to adopt a hundred children, one from every country.” Two long, straight braids framed my face, and my orange gauze shirt was embroidered with flowers dotted with tiny silver mirrors.

“That’s a wonderful idea,” my mom said. She turned and placed her cool, damp fingers under my chin. “Even adopting one child would be a beautiful thing.”

So it was perhaps inevitable that after having two daughters, my husband, Yosef, and I decided to expand our family by looking abroad. In October 1999, I flew to Ethiopia and brought back ten-month-old Adar to our home in Newton, Massachusetts.

When Adar was a toddler, hiding wasn’t a way to vanish. It was a way to appear.

“Wayaz Adawi?” a tiny, disembodied voice called from behind the couch, signaling me to find him.

I put my hands on my hips, scanned the room, and wondered aloud, “Where IS Adari? In a drawer? No on the bookshelf? No

My heart stretched to bursting in its pull toward him: his soft cheek against mine, his arms surprisingly strong, his hands imprinting themselves on my shoulder blades, the kiss I will plant with a long mm-mwah on his silky forehead. This was his story of becoming my son.

He jumped out from behind the couch—a toddler Sammy Davis Jr. after a big number—huge smile, arms outstretched. I gotta be meeeee!

Cue the lights, the applause, the laughter, and that big hug. Here you are, our hug said to each other. Always here. Always mine.

“Mama, wayaz my tummy-mommy?” he asked, his nose against mine.

“I don’t know, sweetie,” I said, bracing myself, gathering my thoughts. “Sometimes I wonder about her too.”

Every night when he was four, Adar pulled the same book from his shelf, handed it to me, climbed onto his bed, and nestled under my arm, leaning into me.

“It was missing a piece,” I read to Adar from the book.

Even though he could not yet read, he turned each page at the right time. The illustrations prompted him to recite the prose along with me, word for word.

“And it was not happy. So it set off in search of its missing piece,” he said solemnly.

The Missing Piece, written and illustrated by Shel Silverstein, is about a circle, drawn with sparse black lines on a white page, that has a missing piece the shape and relative size of a pizza slice. The circle goes on a journey in search of its missing piece, traveling through rain and snow and hot sun, finding pieces that either don’t fit or don’t want to be anyone’s missing piece.

Content continues below ad

“How come it doesn’t want to be someone’s piece?” Adar asked.

“I don’t know,” I answered. Neither of us could understand not wanting to belong to someone.

Because it was incomplete, the circle moved slowly. As it plodded along, it smelled flowers, had a butterfly land on it, and noticed the world around it, all the while singing its song through a mouth formed by the errant pizza slice: “Oh, I’m looking for my missing piece, hi-dee-ho, here I go, looking for my missing piece.”

Adar took cover under my shirt. “Pretend I’m in your tummy,” he said.

He was small enough to fit his whole body under my loose top. He folded his arms and bent his knees to his chest, his eyes peering out at my throat as he carefully covered each toe with my shirt hem.

This was not our first time pretending I was pregnant with him. Often at bedtime, Adar would sit nestled under my T-shirt, look out through the stretched neckline, and whisper the command, “Pretend you’re walking.”

Lying supine on his bed under his warm, soft weight, I would move my feet as if strolling along the sidewalk. Peeking through my neckline, he’d again direct me. “Now you see someone you know.”

“Hi, how are you?” I said obligingly. “Oh, me? I’m fine. Just taking a walk with my baby in my tummy! OK, bye.”

“Now you’re walking again,” he’d say. “Now you see someone you know.”

“Hi, Auntie Laura. Yup, I’m just taking a walk with my baby in my tummy!”

“Can I really go inside your tummy?” Adar asked, his big eyes wide at my chin.

“You can pretend, but you can’t really go inside my tummy,” I explained.

“Why? What’s in there?” he demanded as if some sixth sense had set off internal alarms, flashing and wailing like the spacecraft in Aliens. His eyebrows scrunched in his telltale mix of concern and curiosity. Funny, Yosef and I had just been talking about having another birth child.

We lay smushed together on his single bed, his pile of storybooks stacked beside us on the green nightstand. In the soft light that glowed through a pale yellow lampshade, we looked at each other. I pulled his head onto my shoulder and kissed it.

“Mommy?”

“Mmm.”

“Who’s my tummy-mommy?”

“I don’t know,” I said quietly. My eyes welled with tears. Many times, I had begged God to let his mother know that her son, our son, was safe and loved. While my sorrow was genuine, it was also vain and indulgent, an illusion of redemption from my complicity in the world’s pain that played itself out all too sharply in another woman’s life—if she was still alive.

“Why? Nobody knows her?”

“Well, nobody we know knows her.”

“Did my tummy-mommy keep me?” Adar continued.

“No,” I said gently as I slipped my arm under his upper back.

Content continues below ad

He adjusted his head onto my shoulder. “Did she nurse me?”

“I don’t know, sweetie.”

“Did it hurt my tummy-mommy when I was born?”

“Childbirth hurts for a while,” I said vaguely.

“Is she dead?”

She could be wondering the same of Adar right now. She must have feared his death.

Looking into my eyes, his face serious and thoughtful, Adar asked if his tummy-mommy was my friend Sally. Her brown skin might have prompted this theory.

“I grew in Sally’s tummy and then she brought me to Ethiopia and then Mommy came to get me,” he announced.

“No, sweetie,” I said, managing not to laugh. “Sally is not your tummy-mommy.”

“Maybe a lion ate me up and then pooped me out in Ethiopia.”

I laughed—poop is funny.

He looked at me gravely, and I bit the inside of my cheeks.

“One person we know met her,” he said.

“Really, honey?” I lifted my head to see his whole face. “Who was that?”

“Me. When I was born.”

“Oh, my God. You’re right, sweetie. You met her.” I pulled his blanket around him more snugly.

“But I don’t remember her,” he said quietly, lowering his gaze.

“Oh, my sweet boy,” I said, turning his face toward me and holding each cheek in my hands. “No one ever remembers when they were babies.”

There was no remembering for him, no recollection of a face or the anchor of a story. No who or what or how or why to understand his coming to be. And I had none of that to give him. I had only my own messy mosaic of stories—our family inside the unwieldy, unfolding narrative of the Jewish people—within which he could weave his life.

Appreciating mystery was the only way that I could honestly approach Adar’s origins. In this way, he was a portal to kedusha, the Hebrew word for holiness. “I will be what I will be” was God’s answer to Moses’ question, “Who are you?” Moses’ future was becoming known, even as his origins were unknown to him. How could he have remembered his mother, Yocheved, placing him in a basket she had lined with bitumen and pitch, the basket that would carry him on the river away from the Egyptian edict of death? How was she able to get her hands to obey her intention and let go of that basket? My deepest fears formed themselves into prayer, even when I was simply buckling my child into his car seat.

Moses’ cry carried beyond the hum and thrum of the river and pierced the conversation of Pharaoh’s daughter and her handmaids as they bathed. Thus, the grown daughter of Pharaoh “heard the cries of the child.” Tragically, Yocheved hid herself in order to save her son.

Perhaps Adar’s birth mother prepared him in a basket, wrapped and warm, protected from mosquitoes, sun, and rain. Perhaps she, like the woman who released Moses to the Nile’s flow, “stationed herself at a distance” to ensure his safety as long as she could. But Adar’s birth mother never got to “lift her eyes” to redemption, at least not with him.

She and I were a team, like Yocheved and Pharaoh’s daughter. Did Yocheved call out for her son after he was ensconced in Pharaoh’s palace? Did the daughter of Pharaoh, raising her beautiful, wise boy, ever cry for Yocheved’s loss?

Oh, Adar. Your birth mother has taken her place in the long line of women who could save their children only by leaving them. Our tapestry of stories has raw, ragged holes. And, now, a bedtime story.

I held him tightly, his head on my chest as we read aloud together. Toward the end, the circle finds its missing piece. Finally a complete circle, it gains momentum and rolls along so fast that it could not stop to talk to a worm or smell a flower, too fast for a butterfly to land.

Aha, the circle says, so that’s how it is, and gently sets the piece down.

 the-missing-piece-book

Buy the book Casting Lots, Rabbi Susan Silverman’s story about raising her beautiful blended family.

Source: Readers Digest

Find more information on http://adoptionagenciesguide.com

The post A Moving Account of How One Mother Helped Her Adopted Son Accept His ‘Missing Piece’ appeared first on Adoption Agency.

Source: Adoption Agencies Guide

32 thoughts on “A Moving Account of How One Mother Helped Her Adopted Son Accept His ‘Missing Piece’”

  1. This is certainly the best thing that you can do as you are certain that you will get a very great services.|Look to see if the online retailer that you are intending to make a buy from has issued any low cost codes. When you buy Vigrx Furthermore, there are up to 4 options you can select from.|Even they are durable but what if they are difficult to skate, there is no really worth for them. These sandals are fantastic for when you are dressed up to go out for pleasure and entertainment. The level of danger is dependent on your wishes.|As we all know, operating often will make ft broaden more normally and fingers turn out to be lengthier.

  2. Among the best to mention I’m all new to blogging A Moving Account of How One Mother Helped Her Adopted Son Accept His ‘Missing Piece’ – Heatpress and Embroidery Store and positively savored you’re blog site. Most likely I’m likely to book mark your site . You absolutely possess outstanding posts. Regards regarding sharing here your website site. feraripoker [url=http://www.feraripoker.org/]feraripoker[/url]

  3. Another thing I’ve noticed is the fact for many people, below-average credit is the consequence of circumstances beyond their control. For example they may be actually saddled through an illness so they have substantial bills for collections. Maybe it’s due to a employment loss or inability to work. Sometimes divorce process can really send the financial circumstances in the wrong direction. Thanks sharing your opinions on this weblog.

  4. Cushioning Footwear- offers runners an elevated shock absorption and minimal medial assistance.|Apart from this indicates, you can also find Proactol at Amazon. It involves the investment of money and the returns can be huge if you know how to go via with the whole process. The title can be noticed on its formal web site.|Shipping is something that you might think offsets the financial savings in tax. This is Mr Howard profession segment 26 times scored 30 points 15 boards. Are you sad simply because of your overweight issue?|If footwear is not up to your anticipations, you can trade it for an additional piece. Although it is a natural product, but chemists, pharmaceutical retailers do not carry Vimax. Its mini lights can be discovered in big assortments.|You can even refer to publications and fashion blogs to know what kind of footwear are in fashion. Frequently, the owner of the shop will be waiting around on you. The title can be noticed on its official web site.|The shoes and boots from this brand name arrive up in different colors and patterns. Don’t skip this chance to see this inspirational movie. Attempt it and you might not regret for purchasing this kind of a pair of operating shoes.|You can not get the benefits of Vigrx Plus when you buy fake Vigrx Plus. How can you skip Christian Louboutin online shop! You can look at different types and brand names of footwear accessible at affordable prices.|Anyone with an Web access can see the shoes and order the types that they like the very best. There are few locations where you can purchase Proactol. L You ought to goal keywords with your PPC ads.|But the common size chart is not be appropriate for running. Revitol anti aging kit: it is a product which will assist to quit your early getting older. Fantastic collection of dress footwear for males is available right here.|You can purchase any footwear from the comfort of your workplace or home at anytime you desire. The eagle get 59 fewest factors and 24 seconds timing because the franchise’s times low document.|What is it that makes Samuel Windsor footwear so unique? The internet is the usually the least expensive and simplest location to find everything you need. Bowtrol probiotics have more than five billion active cells.|What ever kind of shoes you are searching for, you will certainly discover the preferred type of shoes on-line.

  5. The reason is because when you purchase and consider Proactol, it will be easy to say no to these kinds of stuffs.|It also carries the original brand of Vigrx Furthermore. You can get broad variety of electrical goods, clothes, sports equipment, shoes and numerous much more. You do not have to travel from one location to another.|Width in company with size, tends to make the shoe best for running. What you need to do is track and measure the performances of these ads. It has a great good review from most of its clients.|Footwear that are specially developed for outside actions usually have ticker and anti slip sole.

  6. Greetings I am so happy I found your blog page, I really found you by error, while I was looking on Bing for something else, Nonetheless I am here now and would just like to say thanks for a fantastic post and a all round entertaining blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to browse it all at the minute but I have bookmarked it and also added in your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a great deal more, Please do keep up the great job.

  7. So once your purchase is delivered to you, you can attempt out the footwear and verify the size etc.|As online retailers are open up 24 hrs a day and 365 times a yr, so they take purchase all time. But you might be a little dissatisfied simply because these applications are certainly not for totally free.|A pair good footwear not only can protact us and can bring us good sensation. It may come to your notice while trying a shoe that both of your foot is bigger than the other. Two various color make the sole looks so cute.|You can get genuine NFL jerseys for males, women and kids, formally sanctioned by the NFL.

  8. I like the helpful information you supply to your articles. I’ll bookmark your blog and check once more right here frequently. I’m fairly sure I will be told plenty of new stuff right right here! Best of luck for the following!

  9. This is simply because these types of footwear are extremely a lot suitable with different types of clothes.|They hardly get time to buy even the fundamental stuffs like high very best shoes for them or their households. Versatility is the important and footwear with Velcro straps instead of lace ups would be much better suited.|I often wonder why it is that individuals shoes online store at all. It is because it sells Vigrx Furthermore at the official cost. That’s because it’s so easy to carry out cost comparisons when buying on-line.|You merely wouldn’t have accessibility to that numerous shops if you had been relying on local retailers. So, where in the globe is the very best place to store for shoes? Of course, topless indicates not wearing a leading.|Before buy discount footwear, you must require to lookup on running shoes.

  10. I discovered more a new challenge on this losing weight issue. One issue is that good nutrition is vital if dieting. An enormous reduction in bad foods, sugary food, fried foods, sweet foods, beef, and bright flour products can be necessary. Holding wastes parasites, and contaminants may prevent targets for losing belly fat. While certain drugs temporarily solve the condition, the awful side effects will not be worth it, and they also never give more than a short-lived solution. This can be a known proven fact that 95 of fad diet plans fail. Many thanks for sharing your thinking on this blog site.

  11. The purpose is because when you purchase and take Proactol, it will be simple to say no to these sorts of stuffs.|It also carries the authentic brand of Vigrx Furthermore. You can get wide range of electrical goods, garments, sports activities gear, shoes and numerous more. You do not have to journey from 1 place to another.|Width in business with length, makes the shoe very best for operating. What you need to do is monitor and measure the performances of these advertisements. It has a good positive review from most of its customers.|Footwear that are specifically designed for outdoor activities usually have ticker and anti slip sole.

  12. It is actually a nice and useful piece of info. I am satisfied that you just shared this useful info with us. Please keep us up to date like this. Thank you for sharing.

  13. Cushioning Shoes- offers runners an elevated shock absorption and minimal medial support.|Apart from this indicates, you can also discover Proactol at Amazon. It involves the expense of money and the returns can be huge if you know how to go through with the entire procedure. The title can be seen on its official web site.|Shipping is something that you might think offsets the savings in tax. This is Mr Howard career section 26 times scored thirty points fifteen boards. Are you unhappy simply because of your overweight issue?|If footwear is not up to your expectations, you can exchange it for an additional piece. Although it is a natural product, but chemists, pharmaceutical retailers do not have Vimax. Its mini lights can be discovered in large assortments.|You can even refer to publications and style weblogs to know what kind of footwear are in style. Oftentimes, the proprietor of the store will be waiting on you. The name can be noticed on its official website.|The footwear and boots from this brand name arrive up in different colours and patterns. Don’t miss this chance to see this inspirational movie. Try it and you may not regret for purchasing this kind of a pair of operating footwear.|You can not get the advantages of Vigrx Furthermore when you purchase phony Vigrx Plus. How can you miss Christian Louboutin online shop! You can appear at different varieties and brand names of shoes accessible at affordable costs.|Anyone with an Internet access can see the shoes and purchase the types that they like the best. There are couple of places where you can purchase Proactol. L You ought to target keywords with your PPC advertisements.|But the typical size chart is not be suitable for running. Revitol anti getting older kit: it is a product which will help to stop your early getting older. Fantastic collection of gown shoes for males is available right here.|You can purchase any footwear from the ease and comfort of your office or home at anytime you desire. The eagle get fifty nine fewest points and 24 seconds timing because the franchise’s times reduced document.|What is it that makes Samuel Windsor footwear so unique? The internet is the generally the least expensive and easiest location to find everything you need. Bowtrol probiotics have much more than 5 billion active cells.|Whatever kind of footwear you are searching for, you will certainly discover the desired type of footwear on-line.

  14. ?Freshman Specifications & Procedure
    Essays
    We wish to hear your individual voice in your own producing. Be able to write essays that reflect who you happen to be and craft in the natural style. Begin focus on these essays early, and sense 100 % free to ask your parents, teachers and friends to give constructive feedback. Ask if the essay’s tone sounds like your voice. When asking for feedback is suggested, do not enlist hired assistance around the crafting of your essays.
    The essay prompts to the Basic Software additionally, the Coalition Software in the process since the Stanford essay questions are listed right here. The Stanford essay questions are located during the Stanford Questions section for the Regular Software and from the Stanford Software Questions section for the Coalition Software.
    Coalition Software Essay Prompts
    Choose just one on the following prompts. The Coalition recommends you publish an essay involving 300 and 400 words and no longer than 500 to 550 words.
    Tell a story from your life, describing an have that either demonstrates your character or helped to shape it.
    Describe a time if you made a meaningful contribution to others in which the greater wonderful was your focus. Discuss the challenges and rewards of making your contribution.
    Has there been a time when you’ve had a long-cherished or accepted belief challenged? How did you respond? How did the challenge affect your beliefs?
    What is the hardest part of being a teenager now? What’s the prime part? What advice would you give a younger sibling or friend (assuming they would listen to you)?
    Post an essay with a topic of your choice.
    Normal Software Essay Prompts
    Choose a person belonging to the following prompts. There exists a 250-word minimum as well as a 650-word maximum.
    Some students have a background, identity, interest or talent that is definitely so meaningful they believe their software would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
    The lessons we take from failure are often fundamental to later success. Recount an incident or time in case you have expert failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the practical knowledge?
    Reflect on the time in case you challenged a belief or idea. What prompted you to definitely act? Would you make the same decision again?
    Describe a problem you’ve solved or a problem you’d like to solve. It may be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma—anything that may be of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a remedy.
    Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within just your culture, community, or family.
    Stanford Short Essays
    Candidates respond to all three essay topics. There exists a 100-word minimum along with a 250-word maximum for each and every essay.
    Stanford students possess an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or expertise that is important to your intellectual improvement.
    Virtually all of Stanford’s undergraduates live on campus. Generate a note to your long run roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate—and us—know you improved.
    What matters to you, and why?
    Updated on August 26, 2016 3:13 PM
    CONTENTS essay writing online

  15. I was wondering if you ever considered changing the structure of your blog? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having one or two pictures. Maybe you could space it out better?

  16. Very great post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wished to say that I’ve truly loved browsing your weblog posts. In any case I’ll be subscribing for your rss feed and I am hoping you write once more very soon!

  17. Hiya! Quick question that’s totally off topic. Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly? My blog looks weird when viewing from my iphone. I’m trying to find a theme or plugin that might be able to correct this problem. If you have any recommendations, please share. Many thanks!

  18. There are some interesting points in time in this article but I don’t know if I see all of them center to heart. There is some validity but I will take hold opinion until I look into it further. Good article , thanks and we want more! Added to FeedBurner as wellyou have a great blog here! would you like to make some invite posts on my blog?

  19. This is because these types of footwear are extremely much compatible with different kinds of clothing.|They hardly get time to buy even the fundamental stuffs like higher best shoes for them or their families. Versatility is the important and footwear with Velcro straps instead of lace ups would be much better suited.|I often wonder why it is that individuals shoes online store at all. It is because it sells Vigrx Plus at the official cost. That’s because it’s so simple to carry out price comparisons when buying on-line.|You merely wouldn’t have accessibility to that numerous shops if you had been relying on nearby shops. So, exactly where in the world is the very best location to shop for shoes? Of course, topless indicates not sporting a top.|Before purchase low cost shoes, you must need to lookup on running shoes.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *